Vagine Regime vs. Caulksuckers RollerCon 2014

If you were really waiting in anticipation for the resolution of the questionable pork roast I want you to know that it turned out fine.  A little odd but tasty.  I made a couple other soups that weekend but was too tired to blog about it.

And onto the main event:

I don't want to steal You Should Be Watching More Roller Derby's thunder but she hasn't been posting lately and there are a couple of games from RollerCon that are totally GIF worthy.  So while this type of posting is more suited to Tumblr than Blogger I have no interest in creating a Tumblr and we're doing it here.

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This is a great example of using backwards crossovers to gain enough momentum to make a backwards hit worthwhile.  We see that Stephanie Mainey is able to get to and make contact with the Jammer but it's Fifi-nomenon who actually has enough force to land a solid hit.  Lesson learned:  Don't just turn around and hope.  You should still be actively skating while backwards.

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Here's an example of a jammer using a lateral toe stop move to get by on the line.  Watch Satan's Little Helper (flesh tone #666) sneak by on the outside.  In this case she doesn't need to use more than one or two steps to get out of a sticky situation.

...and again

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...and again.

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Proof that the same move really can work over and over and over again even when your opponents can probably guess that you're about to do it.




I don't need to explain what's going on here but I will say that we should all take this moment to appreciate that everyone gives up the inside line sometimes - even high level skaters like these.  Don't be too hard on yourself when it happens to you.  On the flip side, if you're jamming and your blocker gives you a massive opportunity like this  it's your job as a jammer to RUN LIKE HELL.  You're not safe until you're out of the engagement zone and don't ever forget it.



I feel like this version of the spin move is underrated.  Smarty is not spinning here to get around her opponent.  She's spinning to get out of the hit and reset behind her opponent.  It works too.  Freight Train thinks that she has the opportunity to pull a cut when she doesn't and Smarty pretty easily makes her way through the pack.  Lesson:  You as the jammer can control when a hit ends.  Don't get pushed out of bounds if you don't have to.  Notice that this is a clockwise spin, not the usual counter clockwise spin we would use on the outside line.




Here's the same move on the inside line.



This is what a seamless D to O transition looks like. Fifi Nomenon (the grey pivot) loses the jammer at the very start of this gif. Rather than trying to waste time, opportunity and energy chasing down the many times over world champion speed skater who is her opponent she takes out an opposing blocker and clears a very wide path for her own jammer. She is probably perfectly aware that her own jammer is in the pack and therefore taking out any opposing blocker is helpful. This is the perfect answer to a total pet peeve of mine. Skaters often chase jammers out of the pack that they have no or little hope of ever catching. If you chase her out by a half a lap and then have to come back a half a lap to the pack you have no time to help your own jammer. So if your jammer is lead you lose points. If your jammer is not lead then you could find yourself in a vortex where she's struggling and struggling and never has enough help to get through because you're spending your time as a blocker continuously running the length of the engagement zone.

I'm not saying second efforts don't work. I am saying that in the heat of actual game play you should be smart about what you can and cannot execute.

Alright kids. That's it for tonight.

FEAST MODE: Pasta e Fagioli

I'm making several soups this weekend.  This is partially because the magazine in question has a lot of soups in it and partially because soups freeze well and make good lunches.  The first soup is called "Pasta e Fagioli" and is described as 'chock full of pasta, beans and vegetables, making it a hearty one-dish meal."  If that's not Minestrone then I don't know what is but evidently "Fine Cooking" doesn't stoop to Minestrone like the rest of us.

In any case, the soup starts off with bacon but I'm going to digress a bit from the get go and talk about stock pots instead.

When it comes to life's possessions I try to be a bit of a minimalist and that's no different in the kitchen.  I have two knives - a small one (paring) and a big one (chef).  I have two pans.  A small one (egg) and a big one (affectionately known as my 'big ass frying pan.')  Until recently I've only ever had two pots as well (you can probably guess at their classifications) but my parents bought me a stock pot for Christmas and I have to admit it's been a bit of a guilty pleasure.  You can certainly get by in the kitchen without a stock pot but it is nice to have one.  Not only is it useful for making stock (which I should probably do given that I've purchased 9 boxes of chicken broth for my adventures this weekend) but the very large pot is also good for making large amounts of soup or stew which I sometimes do.

Back to the Minestrone.  Before I start any soup I always try to chop all the ingredients.  This saves on unnecessary stress later when you discover that you really need to add the garlic but it's not ready to go yet.

The wine is not actually for the soup

We start with slicing 8 slices of bacon into small pieces and frying them in the bottom of the stock pot.  This really illustrates the necessity of having a good thick bottom stock pot because the bacon will burn in a thin bottomed cheap one (I know from experience).  You should cook the bacon as to be to the texture you want in your soup because you won't be boiling it more later.  Once that's done, remove the bacon and set it aside on some paper towels.




The bottom of your stock pot will likely be covered in some delicious half burned bacon fat.  You can and should let the bottom of the pan coat with this substance but let it get too dark and you run the risk of making your entire soup taste like burned meat.  Try to avoid that.

Once you've removed the bacon add three diced red onions.  Now - if you have a the aforementioned large food processor you can always chop it in there.  If not, I recommend the following technique:  Peel the onion, chop off the end that's not the root and then score the onion into little squares:

Then, all you have to do is slice it the long way.  Add the diced onion and saute it in that bacon fat until it's a nice soft consistency.  Then add 3 cloves of diced garlic and 1/2 teaspoon of dried rosemary to the mix and cook it for about a minute. Speaking of diced garlic, I have this totally amazing tool specifically for the task.  You just throw the garlic in there, put on the lid and twist it.  IT'S MAGICAL.  And besides, everyone hates dicing garlic anyway.

After the minute, you add pretty much everything else.  That includes 2 quarts of low sodium chicken broth, 2 cans of rinsed chickpeas, 1 can of petite diced tomatoes (plus juice), 4 chopped carrots, 3 sticks of celery, 1 cinnamon stick, 3/4 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. pepper, and one cup of water.  Bring it to a boil, then reduce to simmer for a half hour.

That half hour is a nice time to catch up with our roast.  I've been basting it from time to time (turkey basters do not make my list of necessities for the kitchen but I do happen to have one.  If you don't, you can use a big spoon.  It works just as well.)  This is also the time to cook the pasta.  This magazine recommends tubettini' which I imagine is Italian for 'very tiny little tubes of pasta.'  They didn't have that at my store so I just bought a random bag of fancy pasta instead.

After the half hour is over you remove the cinnamon stick and add the bacon plus 1.5 tsp of red vinegar.  (side note:  I don't know how this happened in all my non-cooking for the past four years but I have a really massive collection of vinegars.)  Then you season to taste with salt, pepper and more red wine vinegar.  This assumes that you have not been steadily drinking from your Red Table Wine.  I have left the final salt count for my future self.

Roast update:  We are now at 150 degrees with 10 more to go.  It smells fucking delicious and the braising broth tastes pretty damn good too.  I'm feeling optimistic about our pork/beef bastard of a roast.

Thank you and good night.  We shall continue tomorrow.

FEAST MODE: Pastalicious

I've been saying to myself for awhile that I wish I could get back to a place where I cooked 80%-90% of my meals like I used to.  Then I realized that 'awhile' has actually been the past four years.  Home cooked meals are almost always cheaper than the alternative and making a decent salary removes the necessity to actually cook.

That said, back when I did actually cook my folks used to sometimes give me gourmet magazines to draw inspiration from.  Our recipes for the rest of the weekend come from "Fine Cooking - January 2009."  This simple pasta dish is from the back cover.

It's generally a good idea to read through recipes before you get started on them.  That way you don't get caught off guard by instructions like 'marinade overnight' or 'chill until hardened.'  In this case, the recipe asks that you reserve a cup of the water that you boiled the pasta in so you can use that water to finish the dish.  Hard to recreate that ingredient after the fact and while pasta water won't make or break your dish it does add something a little special.  Bill Buford, the author of "Heat" assigns the pasta water an almost mythical quality and who wants to miss out on mysticism?  Not me.  Also, the recipe doesn't mention boiling the pasta until last but if you want to finish the recipe in a timely fashion then it's better to do the pasta first while you prepare the other ingredients.  Do so in salted water.

The recipe calls for Orecchiette (pasta).  I don't know what that is.  But the picture looks like shells and I found something like it on the shelves.  As I said before, I like to make sure the primary ingredient in my recipes is quality, so I bought a good quality dried pasta.  I think they make a pretty big difference in the final outcome.

Next, roast half a head of cauliflower and a pint of grape tomatoes in olive oil, salt and pepper.  Pro tip:  'roast' nearly always means a temperature between 400 and 450 degrees.  In this case, 425 for 15 minutes.

Before roasting

While that's in the oven you're supposed to pulse four cloves of garlic and 9 leaves of fresh sage in a food processor.  I have three thoughts about that.

1.)

When you buy fresh herbs, you pretty much always wind up with more than you need.  Fortunately, most fresh herbs actually freeze pretty well so at least you can do something with them rather than throw them out or try like hell to use all that fresh sage.

2.)

When you buy garlic, try to buy a head that has paper that's tight to the garlic.  That means it's fresh.  Also, fresh garlic is purple in color so if you can find some in the store that has a little purple in it, that's a good bet.

3.)  Food processors are big and take a lot of space in your kitchen.  If you're going to buy one, get in the habit of using it a lot and right away, otherwise you're wasting your money.  I have the little one that's pictured and it triples with other attachments as a submersion blender and a motorized whisk.  I love it and use it all the time when I'm cooking.

When the garlic and sage has been diced in the processor, add about 3oz of prosciutto.  I feel about prosciutto the same way I do about bacon.  It's great as a flavoring agent but not really meant to be the main attraction of the meal.  

Add that to the cauliflower and tomatoes once their done and roast for another 5 minutes.

Roasted

By the time the roasting is done your pasta should also be done.  You'll want to mix everything together along with a little of that pasta water to add mysticism plus about 3/4 cup of parmigiano-reggiano cheese and 5 ounces of arugula.  I don't know how much 5oz of arugula is so I just added a couple of handfuls and called it good.

By the way - this is really fucking good.  I mean like - wow!  Add a little of that Red Table Wine and you have one fantastic dinner!

(Also, the roast is setting pretty at 87.2 internal degrees)

FEAST MODE Where's the Beef?

In an effort to reconnect with my love of cooking and my love of food I'm taking this weekend to live blog some culinary adventures.  We're starting with pork roast.  It's pork roast not pot roast because I got into a hurry at the store and picked up the wrong kind.  But whatever.  Pork shoulder is good too.  What follows is something I've just made up.  It could be awful.  Life is full of adventure.

Whenever I'm taking a day to cook a lot I like to make sure to get a roast, a chicken or something else that takes a lot of time and only a little effort to make.  I figure that if I'm already spending the day in the kitchen I might as well use the oven or the slow cooker while I'm in there.

Pro tip:  Whenever I'm making something that has one big primary ingredient I try to make sure that the primary ingredient is of a high quality, otherwise the whole dish kind of goes to hell.  In this case, that means getting a really nice piece of pork.  I found a shoulder roast at PCC.  3.8 pounds for about $15 and sustainably raised to boot.  Sure, it costs a little more than the regular kind but it tastes a lot better and there's some research to suggest that all the crap they feed factory raised meat makes its way into the fat storage of the animal so not only are there a multitude of ethical concerns with factory raised meat, it's also probably not very good for you.

I started today by roasting up some bone marrow.

So yes - this would have made a hell of a lot more sense for a pot roast but should still make the pork fatty and delicious.  Marrow bones can usually be found somewhere in the deli section of your grocery store and if you can't find it, ask the butcher.  They always have some on hand.  In this case, I've split the bone with a knife and a hammer and set it to roast at 400 degrees in a roasting pan until it starts to brown.

Before

After

You can't really overcook marrow but if it stays too hot for too long it will render and just be liquid fat which we actually want to save for the next step.

We're bothering with the marrow because I'd like to make a nice braising liquid for the roast.  Braising something means that you have enough liquid for the meat to sit in but not enough to cover it.  I've transferred the marrow into a large pan and rendered it into liquid.

Then I add one very thinly sliced yellow onion and caramelize it on a low heat.

As the onion carmalizes, I add a little beef stock and a little red wine.  We're reducing the beef stock and letting the alcohol boil off the wine.  So the liquid will taste very concentrated and beefy with a little tang to take the thickness off the marrow.

A note on cooking with wine:  As a general rule, I buy whatever's cheapest and use that.  Today, I'm using red wine and so I bought a wine that I also like to drink - Red Table Wine by Townshend Cellers.  If I'm cooking with white wine I buy whatever's $3 and leave it in the fridge until it dies.  I don't drink white wine.

When you're cooking from your brain and not from a recipe it's really important to taste as you go.  That's actually true for regular recipes too.  The great thing about doing that is it prevents you from over or under seasoning your food and also gives you the opportunity to flavor your food exactly the way you want it, not the way the author of the recipe imagined it - and isn't that better?  In this case I'm not adding salt yet because I'm planning on rubbing the roast with salt and herbs before it all goes in the pot.

Speaking of herbs, I've combined rosemary, thyme and kosher salt together and worked them over a bit with dried thyme and rosemary.

Then I rub the roast with it and throw it in the pot along with some large chunks of carrots, a bay leaf and the braising liquid.  From there it goes on low until it's done.

There are several different methods for knowing when a roast is done, but my favorite is a thermometer like this one. It takes the guesswork out of it and only costs about $25.

So there's my roast.  Hopefully the beef/pork combination will be delightful and not completely weird.  I'll keep you posted.

Anticipation and.... Anticipation

"Are you so excited to be skating again?"

"Best.  Day.  Ever."

"You're going to be back on the track in no time!"

People keep saying these things to me this week and while I totally understand and appreciate the sentiment it's perhaps my friend Razor who has had a broken leg herself who expressed it best.

"I remember getting back on skates again that first time.  It's so emotional!  And like - fuck you universe!"

Yes.  Fuck.  You.  Universe.

This - of course - is hardly an expression of joy and while my friends have a more or less universal assumption of my happiness to return to the track I can't say that happiness is a part of my emotional palate at the moment.  It's is probably due in no small part to my somewhat contrarian nature but surprise, frustration, and no small amount of fear have been my emotional companions de jour.  Surprise, because I wasn't prepared to begin skating again so soon.  Frustration because I can in no way skate like I did before the accident and fear - well - isn't that obvious?

I have no doubt that this too will pass and don't consider this to be so much a cry of anguish as it is a recognition of the distance yet to be traveled as well as an acknowledgement that perhaps it's still a little too soon to be strapping on 8 wheels.  I had to remove my inserts because while the swelling in my foot has gotten a lot better, it's still too large to fit into the skate they way it used it.  My balance is good generally but of course the left ankle is still a bit loose.  The nerves on the inside of my left ankle still aren't working properly so I can't tell whether that area has some ligament related pain or just nerve damage related pain when I try to use the inside edge of my skate but I can tell you that it hurts to put pressure there. 

Much remains to be seen.  And yet this Sunday when no one was looking there was a time - just a few laps - when I could pretend that things were headed back to normal.  That I could still cross over like normal, flick my toe like normal and feel the wind in my hair once again.

Game On!

I hate diets - they're pretty much the worst thing ever.  This is tough, because I also really miss my size 8 jeans.  Actually, a lot of things were easier in size 8.  Clothes fit better, I could shop more places, long pants were long enough.  My current size (14-16) means that a lot of places I like to shop don't have my size.  Plus sizes are too big and the biggest size at most other stores is too small.  I can find pants that are long enough or pants that fit around my midsection but not both.  It was also easier to do a lot of physical tasks two years ago than it is now.  These are all good reasons to try to reduce my waistline.

But do you know what sucks about it?  It's not eating differently or exercising more although those have their challenges.  It's people.  When you're a little overweight you pretty much disappear.  In some ways that's nice.  Actually, a lot of ways.  Men hold doors open for you less.  Men stare at you less.  Men catcall less.  (I was going to say 'people' but realized these aren't problems with people, it's rather specific to men.  Not being a manhater here, just never been catcalled by a woman.)  You get more respect from men for things you do, say and think when you're a little less conventionally attractive - or at least that's been my experience. 

And there are some 'people' problems too.  People are weirdly obsessed with what you eat.  Declare that you're trying to eat better and about half the population will try to tell you what's wrong with the method you've chosen and the other half will try to convince you not to do it altogether.  It suddenly becomes everyone's mission to help you either drive yourself crazy with insane dietary restrictions, judge everything you've put into your mouth or find a way for you to 'treat yourself' when you may not want or need to do any such thing.  It's as if the declaration that you're making a change is tantamount to admitting that you're helpless and begging for salvation. 

Last fall I threw out my back and was in quite a bit of pain so finally sucked it up and and went to see a doctor at the Seattle Sports Medicine Clinic.  I've dealt with this from time to time for awhile now so asked what I could do to make sure that this time was the last time.  He looked at my chart and mentioned that I'm 30 pounds overweight which could have something to do with it.  I suspected that weight might come up and was hoping for some sound advice.  What he told me was that I should exercise more and try to eat about 1700 calories a day and then went with some crap about the Mediterranean diet.  I stopped him and mentioned that I already exercised 6 days a week and that I wasn't sure that 164 pounds (the theoretical maximum healthy weight for my height) was a reasonable number given my strength - that I had been 158 pounds when running 50 miles a week which is still barely under my 'maximum.'  Not listening, he said "well then you can do it again" and I took that as my cue to ask for a referral to a dietitian because this fool clearly had no idea what he was talking about. 

Just so we're clear, 1700 calories a day is a starvation diet for a very active, very strong 195 pound 29 year old woman.  Been there, done that, ended it in a binge of epic proportions.  MyFitnessPal recommends that I eat 1400 calories a day to lose weight.  Slim Fast says 1500.  Weight Watchers is a little better at about 2000.  I can stand about one or maybe two weeks on any of these before I'm just too hungry to function and too neurotic to continue.  Food obsession doesn't really seem to lead to a healthier lifestyle but it sure as hell makes me crazy in a hurry. 

Fast forward to today.  I'm trying again, but much more hopeful about my chances.  Liberty found a food plan called "Game On!"  You don't count calories but they suggest somewhere between 2800 and 3300 calories a day is a reasonable intake for someone like me.  It's the first time I've seen a number that high along with a plan that lays out a way to eat that much healthy food without feeling like you're spending all day every day chewing.  It's 5 whole food meals a day.  But the best part?  IT'S A COMPETITION - and we all know how much I love winning.  So we'll see.  In the very least it's good to start to eat food that I'm cooking again.  I haven't been able to do much cooking until very recently and then it's always hard to get the motivation to start up again after a dry spell.

Team Awesome

Peer groups are SO IMPORTANT. 

This is all I could think two weeks ago, driving home from the Big O in Eugene after spending the weekend with my friends Liberty and Razor and Waffles*.  Last year I started a cross training group with the specific purpose of trying to provide a place for myself within the league where I felt like I belonged.  Skating for a league with home teams is great, but it also means that the mix of people on my team is pretty diverse.  We have a handful of skaters on their 8th season this year, a handful on their first and everything in between.  Some are all stars, some would like to be, some need a way to get away from home, some want a way to exercise and be fit within a community but we all skate together.  I love my teammates, but its pretty clear that we're not all working toward the same individual goals.  So I needed a peer group and I was hoping to form one by cross training.

*Technically waffles are not a part of this peer group.  They are a delicious breakfast item.  3 of 3 meals eaten outside of the fairgrounds that weekend were eaten at Off the Waffle and I don't regret a single bite.

In my mind (because everything is grander in imagination) I thought that group was going to encompass 8-14 of Jet City's mid level skaters who were aspiring to become A team players.  We would inspire our home teams and work together to provide support and be total bad asses and the derby community would look to Jet for providing such a great example of how to get people motivated and fit.  What  I rapidly discovered was only two of the people I invited would show up on a regular basis.  Thus began Team Awesome.

Team Awesome is great for so many reasons but partially because it helps with motivation.  Not sure you want to get up early and cross train?  Too bad, people are waiting for you.  Can't decide whether to attend the next boot camp?  Nope, because we're all going.  Don't have anyone to drive to the next tournament?  You do now.  Think you're going to let yourself off the hook for doing good enough?  They're there to remind you that good is the enemy of great.

And am I writing this because I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND I'M FEELING REALLY STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT HOW GREAT WE ALL ARE RIGHT NOW?  Oh yeah totally.  This is my love post to dedicated people everywhere.  And waffles.