An Ode/Rant to Crossovers

For those of you who have been following along, you'll know that I've been working on my left leg push for my crossovers for a couple of months now.  At first it seemed like one of many priorities.  Sure I could go faster but I could also work on my weak side transitions or my jumping or lateral movement - the list goes on and on.  Also, it's been getting better so I should be fine right?
Oh no.  No, no, no. 
My coach is not satisfied with better.  He's not satisfied with good enough or faster than most people.  I'm pretty sure he won't be happy until I'm the fastest damn player in the league - or at least on my team - and I have to admit there's been some resistance on my part.  It's hard to cede my priorities to someone else's vision of me as an athlete and it puts a cramp on my vision that I'm always right.  Admittedly I'm at a point now where I'm ready to set my teeth and just make it better just so that everyone will shut up about it.  That's probably not the most productive attitude going in but it's what I've been able to muster so far. 
And so....
An Ode /Rant/Word Vomit to Crossovers
(I'm not actually sure what an ode technically is and I'm too lazy to Google it)
Right.  Left.  Right.  Left.  Push under, pop the balloon, flick.  Smoother, faster.  Ride the corner, one foot on the corner, cross on the corner KEEP CROSSING KEEP CROSSING.  There's a sweet spot of low-ness where balance becomes an issue of the past but I can't always find it.  I'm not always strong enough.  I'm sometimes too tired to get down and put my hip into the corner.  My core aches, my back aches and I feel like I can't breathe.  keep going.  don't stop.  Push under.  Push harder.  Push until you're falling and nothing but your right leg will save you from the inexorable pull of outward centrifugal force.  Flick.  What are you doing with your left pinky toe?  Does your skate come off the ground and point to the outside wall?  Is your left arm crossing your body in an effort to emulate that foot?  Swing them straight.  Look ahead.  Where are you going?  The track is an old friend by now.  Each corner known.  See who you're trying to catch - see past them, the ground will always be there. 
I want to work on other things.  I want to hit harder with better timing and stop faster and be quicker laterally and off the start.  There is so much to learn so why this?  Does it matter?  Do I just trust them?  I'm not given to trust.  I want to make my own decisions but instead I'm finding myself taking a deep physiological breath.  If speed and form are what's required of me then I will find a way to be one with speed and form.
<posted on 3.12.12>