Last spring before I hurt my knee I was spending a fair amount of time in Cadets figuring out how to be a jammer. (see part one here) In some ways I have the skills for it. I'm fast and in good shape (most of the time). In other ways I can see why I struggle with it. Risk taking isn't really my first inclination. I assumed and still assume that though I don't show a lot of natural ability for it I'm sure that I could learn the position with the appropriate amount of time and effort.
Then I hurt my knee. I got slower and in worse shape. My confidence suffered over the summer and I pretty much abstained from jamming altogether. It's not a role I play on my team. I could see where I could certainly use the time to be a better blocker. The knee injury took a long time to stop hurting and I didn't want to put myself in a position to make it worse by getting the crap kicked out of me on a regular basis. I got more stable, more aware and better acquainted with the game.
We have blue and white scrimmages every other Thursday. They serve as ideal times to try shit out because no one is too terribly invested in the final score. No one ever wants to jam at these things and I surprised myself this fall by starting to volunteer for the star. Working on my jamming again wasn't really a plan so much as a byproduct of a void that needed to be filled. The fear that I had felt about doing it suddenly fell more or less by the wayside.
At first I didn't really have it too bad because I wasn't in jamming shape. If you're not in good enough condition to get through the pack, blockers don't really need to kick you around too much. The step that followed was getting my ass kicked a lot because I got fast enough to get through but am not agile enough to cut around opposing blockers. It's different now than it was though. I don't fall down nearly as much and almost never without being hit pretty hard. In the last couple of weeks I've started to actually get through every now and again and do some good.
Bearing all of that in mind it didn't seem like a big deal to volunteer to jam for the overtime jam at the end of the evening tonight. I kind of didn't consider/remember that overtime jams always run for two minutes. Two minutes can be an eternity. Then I saw the opposing blockers lineup: Guest Anya Heels from the Rat City All Stars, Nasty Nikki Nightstick & Doll Dozer both from the Bombers. If you know derby in the northwest I don't need to say a lot more than that. If you don't - Google them.
What's a girl to do? It's not like I'm going to lie down on the floor and just give up. I did briefly consider trying to pass the star right then and there to one of the other blockers on my team but ultimately decided against it. After all - I'm afraid of a lot of things but no one has ever accused me of being a coward.
I acted as a blocker for as long as I could. Might as well stick with the thing I know I can execute. I can't remember whether the opposing jammer got out or if the opposing blockers just managed to trap me. Jams often come in glimpses.
Anya Heels forcing me to cut in turn 4. Me going to the box followed immediately by the opposing jammer.
Anya Heels forcing me in again in turn 4. Me actually possessing the ability to turn and stop the second time.
Finding myself face to face with NNN thinking 'oh shit. Should I try to hit her in the chest? Probably not' and cutting around her.
Pulling myself around on the outside almost fast enough to get around all of them before getting sucked back in.
Dozer yelling 'come on Q! You can do it!' while blocking me. She is my twin. It's a long story.
NNN hitting me so hard in turn 2 that I'm off the ground. Almost landed it.
and then - mercifully - the jam is over. I am not dead. My leg is not broken. The earth continues to spin. Butt slaps ensue. I would probably volunteer to do it again.
<posted on 12.21.12>
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