*I am not comparing myself to Jesus - but I think he would totally feel me on this.
When I'm trying to be awesome I think of myself as riding a train. I call it the "I Am Awesome" train or sometimes just the "Awesome" train. The I Am Awesome train speeds along at a breakneck pace as sun pours through the windows and the world rushes by. It's a little bit loud. You can hear the wooshing of life roaring past. The best part about the I Am Awesome train is that there are a lot of people on it. I'm awesome, you're awesome, she's awesome; it's not a state of being that requires any sort of exclusivity. You know you're riding it when you can spend an hour with your friends with no other topic of conversation than how awesome everyone is. Maybe they're complimenting you, maybe you're complimenting them, but everyone ought to be complimenting themselves. Pride may be one of the seven deadly sins but I'm just not sure how far you get with humility, especailly the kind of humility that you have to fake. No one likes a braggert but everyone hates a liar. I don't think there's anything wrong with letting people know how awesome you are. They may not realize it, and who's going to tell them if you don't? When you're on the I Am Awesome train everyone thinks they're awesome. It's OK to own up to it.
However, there is a certain amount of danger involved. Sometimes you think you're getting on the I Am Awesome Train, but you're actually riding the "I Am Better Than You Train." It's a totally understandable mistake. They feel similar, but in very much the same way as "I win" is a different game than "you lose" you'll find there's a not so subtle shift in mindset on the I Am Better Than You train. Signs that you've lost your way include:
1.) You find yourself telling everyone how awesome you are, but no one is.
2.) You keep many people close to you, not so much because you like them but because you don't want them to get better than you without your knowledge.
3.) You quit listening to the advice people give you because you've "already figured it out."
4.) People quit giving you advice because you don't take it.
5.) You no longer admire people you actually know, but instead idolize the very distant or famous.
There are more, but I think you get the idea.
Experience tells me that I'm no stranger to the I Am Better Than You Train. Sometimes I know I'm headed there before I ever get on. It's such a guilty pleasure and the rationale behind it is so seductive. After all, what's the point of developing self-confidence if you can't allow yourself to believe deep inside that you really are better than other people? The problem in doing so is that once you've decided in your own mind that you're the best, you don't allow yourself the opportunity to continue to improve, thus depriving you of your awesomeness. Well, that and you will eventually lose all your friends from the I Am Awesome train. People who really possess self-respect don't have a whole lot of patience for blind arrogance.
Which train are you riding today?
In retrospect. I'm pretty sure that Jesus would not feel me on this. My bad Jesus. My bad.
<posted on 4.3.12>
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