Dear Febreze,
We need to talk.
I know that this is partially my fault. I’ve let you in again against my better judgement.,and all too soon after your arrival in my home an insidious scent has begun to make its way into every crevice of my belongings.
It’s not me. It’s you.
Your promises of an odor free existence have once again gone unfulfilled for while I no longer smell the hard earned sweat and BO of continuous derby practices in the same gear I am certain this is because I am unable to smell anything over the manufactured sweetness of your own stench. Would that I had remembered that what you give is far outweighed by the subsequent inability to get rid of you.
I have to ask you to leave.
Get out. Get out of my laundry detergent and my clothing sprays. You’re not welcome in my kitty litter or my plug in outlets. I don’t want you in my shoes or my skates or my gear or my carpet or my vaginal spray. This time it’s for real. I won’t forget the pain of the scent induced headaches you give me.
Good by Febreze. Good riddance.
~Slater
*Looking for a good alternative to this horrid nightmare? I LOVE LOVE LOVE you don't have to smell like a badass.
<posted on 5.24.12>
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