In The Clear

I had forgotten how much fun it is to play derby.  Don't get me wrong, I love skating.  If I didn't, I wouldn't have lasted the seven months it took for me to go from buying skates to scrimmaging.  But just skating does not make your head explode with pain and awesome like derby does.
Yup.  I'm cleared for contact.
I expected to be filled with elation but the emotional response hasn't yet proven to be that simple.  Hot on the heels of an underwhelming sense of relief is worry.  It's 24 days to draft and only about a week before our coach lets us know who's eligible.  I'm in nowhere near as good of shape as I was a month ago.  There has been some (a lot of) stress eating and subsequent weight gain, which in of itself isn't necessarily horrible but I feel awfully sluggish. 
I would love to jump right back into the insanity schedule and start skating 8 times a week again but I know in my heart that it's a horrible idea.  My knee is a lot better but pushing too hard right now is probably a really good way to cause re-injury. 
You know the serenity prayer? 
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."
It's completely over quoted and underutilized and I'm not much for God, so I have to say I prefer the Pirates of the Caribbean version:
"The only rules that really matter are these:  What a man can do and what a man can't do...  For example, I can let you drown, but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy?"
 I really do believe that this concept helps to form one of the cornerstones of success in any endeavour.  As of this moment I cannot change the events of the past month, but I can make a new path going forward.  I cannot directly control whether I will be eligible for draft or picked up by a team, but I can exert influence over my attitude and the amount of effort I put forth. 
And I did have a great practice Sunday.  I knocked out some jammers, did some VERY satisifying one on one blocking and even found that I can still wear that star and get through the pack.
<Posted on 4.23.12>